Wednesday, April 15, 2009

NEW Book from CPYU's Walt Mueller!

The Space Between: A Parent's Guide to Teenage Development by Walt Mueller is available for pre-order at the CYPU RESOURCE CENTER for only $8 (shipping included!).

CPYU
recommends that parents, youth workers, pastors, educators and others involved in the lives of teens all read this book to gain valuable insight into the world of adolescent development. When you started out as a parent, chances are you felt completely unprepared to deal with the challenges of a child. But at some point in your journey, you've probably found yourself feeling confident in your parenting role and abilities.

The routine and predictability of your child's life became manageable and fairly easy to navigate. Now that your child is a teenager (or soon-to-be a teen), you may be feeling overwhelmed at times with fear, confusion, frustration, and a lack of understanding. It almost feels like you're starting all over with a screaming, needy, and sometimes whiny child (only much taller and with more attitude!).

The changes of adolescence, while normal for every teen, feel completely abnormal to parents of teenagers, often leaving you feeling like a helpless bystander. But you're not alone and there is hope to help you (and your teen) get through these challenging, changing years.

For more than 30 years, Dr. Walt Mueller has studied adolescents and the culture that surrounds them. His expertise was put to the test when his own children became teenagers. Now he's bringing wisdom from research and his own experience to help other parents through the tumultous years of adolescence.With empathy and practical tools, this book will help you understand the changes your teen is experiencing, and help you effectively parent them as you explore how to:

- create a smoother adolescent period for your teen
- begin to break through the walls of confusion, fear, frustration, and misunderstanding
- be a positive and proactive bridge-builder into the life and world of your teenager

Regain the confidence you once felt as a parent, and create a parent-teen relationship that helps your teen (and you) get through these change-filled years successfully.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Help Stop the Bleeding: Great Resource for Working with Teens Who Self-Injure

Reviewed by Chris Wagner

(The following review appeared in the Spring 2009 edition of Engage: The Journal of Youth Culture from CPYU.)

It seems as though as little as a few years ago there were very few books and resources available to people who wanted to learn more about self-mutilation, selfharm, or cutting. Thankfully, the research being conducted in this field has enabled the insight—and therefore the books—about this youth-prevalent epidemic to keep getting better and better. Inside a Cutter’s Mind: Understanding and Helping Those Who Self-Injure (NavPress, 2007), by Jerusha Clark and Dr. Earl Henslin, is no exception. Self-harm is often misunderstood.

Clark thoroughly and gracefully explores the many dynamics that weave through the fabric of a cutter’s mind and life in a way that allows those to whom self-harm makes little sense, begin to grasp the reality and rationale of this behavior. Even more, she does so in a way that brings hope into a seemingly hopeless situation. Readers will be encouraged to look at cutting in multi-dimensional ways. Through first-hand stories of selfharmers, insight from medical professionals, counselors and literature, Clark demonstrates that cutting is both physiological and psychological. Written from a Christian perspective, Inside a Cutter’s Mind also addresses the spiritual needs of self-harmers.

The motivations and needs of selfharmers and, therefore, the necessary steps to full recovery differ drastically from individual to individual. There is simply no one way to address this behavior. Clark provides us with medical insight that demonstrates why cutters can not simply stop their behavior of their own power. As cutting powerfully affects the brain, body and soul, different treatment options addressing all these areas are appropriately discussed. This book is a must-read for anyone who knows, loves and is trying to offer help to a cutter.

Related Links:

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Stone Crossings Winner

A winner has been randomly selected from the list of 40 comments below… theroses3

To redeem your prize, theroses3, simply send an email to dmelleby(at)cpyu.org with your mailing address, how you would like your book signed, and we will get it in the mail ASAP.

And here’s a note from L.L. Barkat:

"I thought about what I might say to the winner (and anyone else who decides to read Stone Crossings: Finding Grace in Hard and Hidden Places after learning about it here). Nothing seemed quite right. Then I remembered a story. Well actually two stories. Or maybe it really is one story (forgive my vacillation!) that began long ago and found a new chapter this past year.

In Stone Crossings, I tell a small tale of loss; when I was a child, my stepfather threw a rock-tumbling project out the window. I'd been trying to polish some stones to amber, jade and purple perfection. That project ended abruptly with his hostile action. Funny how we carry things like this with us into adulthood, but I remembered the incident well enough to poignantly pen it into Stone Crossings.

When the book was published, I sent a copy to my third stepmother, as a thank you for letting me tell her part of our family history. To my great surprise, she wrote me a five-paged, single-spaced letter about her regrets and her love. And, with the letter, she sent a velvet green bag of polished stones. They looked much like the stones I'd been hoping to produce in that childhood project long ago. Okay, do you blame me? I held those stones, touched their smoothness and cried for a long time.

Which is to say that sometimes our grace stories take years to unfold. And we are startled to find, after all, grace in hard and hidden places."

(THANK YOU,
L.L. Barkat, for your courage to share you powerful story of grace and for your participation in the CPYU Bookshelf giveaway. We all have been blessed because of it!)

Monday, April 6, 2009

David Dark on the Sacredness of Questioning Everything

Eugene Peterson says that David Dark is his "favorite critic of the people's culture of America and the Christian Faith." Dark's previous books, Everyday Apocalypse: The Sacred Revealed in Radiohead, The Simpsons, and Other Pop Culture Icons and The Gospel According to America have become "must-reads" for anyone interested in the intersection of faith and culture. Dark's strength is his ability to be intensely critical and hopeful at the same time. What follows is an interview with Dark about his most recent book, The Sacredness of Questioning Everything (Zondervan, 2009):

CPYU: What motivated you to write this book?

Dark: I suppose it began with the strange feeling of encouragement I felt when I noticed churchgoers reading, enjoying, and talking about some of the bestselling atheist authors (Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins). I found this to be an inspiringly healthy phenomenon, one that runs counter to the idea that Christians should somehow piously confine their media consumption to whatever voices will further reinforce feelings of rightness concerning whatever we already believe. When Hitchens provocatively asserts that religion, as he understands it, poisons everything. I don’t think anyone’s response should begin with how such an assertion offends them or hurts their feelings. I think our first response should be something like, “Does he, in any sense, have a point? How might ‘getting religion’ be the worst thing that could happen to a person? How does it seem to often wreck the possibility of human decency?” Many of us won’t have to scratch too deeply to see the sense in which Hitchens has a point. I’ve long bristled under the suggestion, never stated outright but often implied, that thinking simplistically and not looking deeply into things is characteristically Christian; as if God needs us to steer clear of complexity and only asks that we remain dutifully submissive to a shallow view of the world. I wanted to argue that questioning isn’t just permissible, but necessary; that it’s probably even a primary form of religious faithfulness. No faith, in any redemptive sense, without questions.

CPYU: A main theme in the book seems to be a plea for religious people to be more humble. Why do you think humility is such an important virtue for Christians today?

Dark: Without it, Christians become people who can only communicate in conversation-stoppers, believing we’re the ones (the only ones) who bring truth and light to our interactions. We become impossibly bad listeners and largely impenetrable to the wisdom we might receive from those with whom we disagree. I think we should view ourselves as pilgrims among fellow pilgrims instead of thinking we’re the unique dispensers of the right information about God.

CPYU: Many of our readers are parents and youth workers. How do you think they would benefit from this book?

Dark: I’d like to think of it as a breath of invigoratingly fresh air. It tries to take on and, in some sense, exorcise the bad ideas that have us afraid to think more deeply about God, the world, and what it is we’re doing. And it champions the practice of sacred questioning not as some new fangled notion but as something we see at work in the biblical witness, religious history, the Civil Rights movement, and all manner of artistic expression (poetry, folk music, film). Each chapter includes (appropriately enough) a selection of questions to keep the thing helpfully interactive. My hope would be that the book might ignite some conversations and somehow do what I think any good book will do: Expand the sphere of the talkaboutable.

CPYU: As a parent and teacher yourself, how do you balance the desire to see young people learn to ask good questions, to not be afraid of questions, and yet also help to provide answers and solid footing for young people developing faith?

Dark: Well, there’s a way in which I think we often get it devastatingly backwards: Here’s what you have to believe to be right with God, so start believing it, hold on to it, and now you have solid grounding. If we’re redeemed and saved by virtue of how intensely we believe the right things, then sure enough, questioning is the last thing we should do. It’s cosmically dangerous. We run the risk of losing whatever fragile hold on God’s good graces we have. Contrary to this sort of thing, I’m compelled (and hope my own children and students will be similarly compelled) by a vision of an always-redeeming God whose hold on to us is more powerful and lasting than any concept we might hold to ourselves. What I would think of as solid footing within an always-developing faith that seeks further life and wisdom and freedom within God’s kingdom can’t be understood apart from the asking of good questions. I’m good with my daughter thinking of the Bible as a book that, in some sense, yields answers, but an even more solid footing might be an understanding of the Bible as a text saturated in questions, questions which penetrate and scandalize our understanding of ourselves, questions so charged that we still haven’t found an answer to them, questions that keep changing the world. I want her to understand that we seek God not by playing at belief but by prayerfully questioning our own ideas about God, the world, and how we’re doing at the job of dwelling lovingly and mindfully within it.

CPYU: A hot topic in youth ministry today is college transition. Many people quote statistics about the number of students that walk away from the faith in college. While you don't directly address this issue, what do you think your book could add to that conversation?

Dark: The book tries to define faith as closely allied to the practice of sacred questioning as opposed to faith as a set of beliefs one holds to for dear life in the face of rising waters of chaos and confusion. I think it was Flannery O’Connor who said that if you lose your faith in an Introduction to Philosophy class, it might not be true to say that you had a robust or meaningful faith to begin with. What you had was ideas. And entering into a season when you’re made to see that those ideas aren’t/ weren’t the ground of God’s being to begin with is probably a good thing. I wouldn’t say you have to lose your faith to find it (as if faith could ever be a possession or a cause for boasting). But I would say we have to hold loosely to our concepts of God if we’re to seek out or be faithful to the God who transcends and overflows our concepts. In this sense, questioning is crucial to the possibility of a Christian faith. I don’t know that we could say we’re even reading the Bible, for instance, if we come to it with no questions. What’s our relationship to it if we only come to the text hoping to find out what we’re supposed to believe or how we might corral certain verses to buttress our already made up minds?

C.S. Lewis said that many use the text but only very few receive it. I think we can argue that there is no discernment-- there is no reception of God’s word--if we have no questions. I’ve witnessed the ways the college transition goes weirdly for students and their parents, but I view disagreement as an opportunity for a conversation to break out. I was very blessed to have parents who believed I was learning things they had yet to understand and that their own growth and enrichment would involve, in no small way, asking me questions and listening to my answers. I hope I’ll have a similar posture of receptivity and anticipation when it comes to my own kids’ development. I hope I’ll have the wit to love them like my parents loved me, with lots and lots of open-ended questions. There’s nothing like them.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Bookshelf Award Alert: Frontrunner for 2009 Book of the Year?!

It may be too early to tell, but this book will be hard to beat! Kevin Roose, a liberal, nominally Quaker student at Brown University, transfers to Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University to engage in cross-cultural study. Just how wide is the God divide? What are we to think of the next generation of culture warriors? Roose has a good story to tell, and he’s a great story teller. He offers a very insightful look into the world of fundamentalist/evangelical Christians and draws some surprising conclusions in his The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University. More on this book to come!

Visit the author's website

Read a review from Books & Culture

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

FREE Autographed Book by L.L. Barkat!

Stone Crossings: Finding Grace in Hard and Hidden Places by L.L. Barkat was one of the best books I read in 2008. It won a prestigious CPYU Bookshelf Award, and I’ve given it to many people as a gift. In fact, my mother-in-law was so moved by the book, she started a small group book discussion at her school.

The book is a memoir. Barket tells her powerful and penetrating story of finding grace, God and faith in the midst of pain, hardship and struggle. She is open and honest about some really dark “places” in her life but she doesn’t become cynical or trite. That’s not always easy. She writes gracefully and points readers toward hope.

It turns out that Barkat enjoys reading this blog, and was especially interested in the FREE BOOK GIVEAWAYS. (Who isn't, really?) So much so, she is offering a FREE autographed copy of Stone Crossings! (Be sure to check out L.L. Barkat’s blog!)

Here’s the question for your chance to win a FREE copy of Stone Crossings:

What is your favorite memoir?

(There needs to be at least 10 comments to qualify. Winner will be chosen randomly from list of participants. Only one comment per person.)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Mindy Meier: Sex on Campus

It’s probably not surprising to learn that a hookup culture of casual sex exists on college campuses. What might be shocking are two discoveries made by sociologist Donna Freitas in her groundbreaking research and book Sex & the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America’s College Campuses. After many years of surveying and interviewing college students, here’s what she learned: First, most students don’t want to participate in the hookup culture, but feel pressured to for lack of an alternative. Second, while many students identify themselves as “spiritual,” their spirituality has very little influence on their sexuality. Third, even though most students are frustrated and have been hurt by the hookup culture, they have very few places to openly discuss their concerns.

Freitas also interviewed students at evangelical colleges. While the hookup culture was not as prevalent, students still felt like they had limited ways to discuss sexuality on campus. There was intense pressure to be engaged before graduation (“ring by spring”) and students who were in sexual relationships didn’t have many people who they could confide in. Freitas concludes, “The prevailing religious message about sex among students is either to guard purity with one’s life or to see sex as irrelevant to one’s spiritual practices and religious commitments.” Because we must address this sobering sexual reality, I spoke with Mindy Meier, author of Sex and Dating: Questions You Wish You Had Answers To, about Freitas and her research.

Derek: Before we talk about Donna Freitas’ book Sex & The Soul, tell us about your work and what led you to write your book, Sex and Dating: Questions You Wish You Had Answers To.

Mindy: I work for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, an interdenominational parachurch ministry that serves college students. Part of my job is meeting with students and the topic of sex and dating frequently comes up. I found that the same questions come up over and over again in student appointments and during Q & A sessions on sex and dating. I simply took these questions and gave brief 3 or 4 page answers to help college students think through theses issues. Each question involves a personal story of someone who is wrestling with the issue raised. Students are very busy and a book written in a Q & A format allows them to zero in on topics of interest and skip the ones that do not intersect their lives.

Derek: From your own experience, do you think Freitas provides an accurate picture of the sexual culture on today’s college campuses?

Mindy: Yes, I think Freitas presents a very accurate picture of the sexual culture on today’s college campuses. She interviewed students from a wide range of schools. The fact that she allowed students to answer in written form and also did personal interviews makes her research very enlightening. She is an academic researcher but also captures subtle nuances with colorful narratives used to describe the people she interviewed. I found her book very engaging to read. The student stories rang true with my experience on college campuses...

Read the entire interview in the spring edition of Engage: The Journal of Youth Culture from CPYU (starting on page 6).

Monday, March 9, 2009

FREE Book Winner!

The winner of the FREE book giveaway is: Joel Owen. Please claim your prize by sending an email to: dmelleby(at)cpyu.org

Joel suggested Andy Stanley's It Came From Within! The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart as one of the best books to give as gifts to graduating seniors.

The following books received multiple mentions:

Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper

The Message by Eugene Peterson

Messy Spirituality by Mike Yaconelli

The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel

Two books were mentioned that are available at the CPYU Resource Center:

The Outrageous Idea of Academic Faithfulness coauthored by CPYU's Derek Melleby

Can You Keep Your Faith in College by Abbie Smith.

(Both books are currently being offered at a discounted price of $11, includes shipping!)

Thanks for playing. Be on the look out for another chance to win a FREE book!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Walt Recommends Books: Four Minutes with Jonathan McKee




CPYU friend Jonathan McKee recently walked through a YS bookstore with Walt Mueller and has a video to prove it. Read Jonathan's blog entry here.

The first book Walt recommends is The Outrageous Idea of Academic Faithfulness, coauthored by CPYU's Derek Melleby. The Outrageous book is currently being offered at the CPYU Resource Center at a discounted price of $11, shipping included! Click here for details.

(Interested in ordering 10 or more copies? It does make a nice graduation gift! Call 1-800-807-CPYU for even deeper bulk order discounts!)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Abbie Smith: Reader Interview

Current Position/Title: Graduate student (Talbot Seminary—Masters in Spiritual Formation) and writer/author

(Abbie’s book Can You Keep Your Faith in College? is currently available at the CPYU resource center at a discounted price of $11, shipping included)

CPYU: Have you always been a reader? If not, how did you become one?

AS: I have certainly not always been a reader. And still wouldn’t call myself a terribly “good” one. I read a lot, but am still trying to learn the act of retaining. I actually don’t remember reading much before high school, and even then, I was most privy to Cliff Notes (maybe explaining my 2 on the AP English exam?). In college I started reading a decent amount, probably because I found something that awakened my soul. My controlled, containable world of high school, all of the sudden met this flirtatious ground of college, where immeasurable amounts of intellect, experience and passion surrounded me. I took to the flirting well and, well, I guess that’s what made me a reader.

CPYU: What are your reading habits and practices?

AS: I’d love to say there’s continuity here, but that would be a lie, and I’m trying to at least practice the habit of honesty. Certain seasons tend to lend more, or less, time for pleasure reading, often dictated by certain seasons requiring more, or less, time requiring research and/or school-related reading. I can readily admit to a book, reading, or knowledge addiction—or maybe all of them. Something of it is met by a discipline (and developed enjoyment) of reading every day, whether it’s blogs, books, or the LA Times, but something of it remains unmet, evidenced by dusty piles titled, “want-to-read-but-will-realistically-never-have-time.”

CPYU: Name 3 books that have been very influential in your life and one sentence that explains why.

AS: The Bible, by God: Call me over-spiritual, or simply trying to impress you with my heights of spirituality, but I promise neither is true. I simply find this text one of the most magical, difficult, centering, superior acts of literature ever to take ink.

The Shack, by William Young: This is a contemporary work, and one that has taken a more recent influence on me. I’ve found it to offer a healthy treatment to some of man’s most dehabilitating questions.

The Poetry of Saint Therese of Lisieux, translated by Donald Kinney. I initially bought this book because it had the English translation, as well as the original French (I often toy with the idea of polishing-up ma Française, unsuccessfully). The wisdom and divine vigor in this young girl astounds me.

CPYU: If you could meet any author, living or dead, who would it be and what questions would you ask him or her?

AS: This is a tough question and probably one that could change on the hour, but for now I’ll say C.S. Lewis. I find that he’d be exceptionally entertaining, as well as incredibly insightful. We’d probably meet over pints at some quaint little pub, where I’d offer the most mundane questions I could think of, like reasons he’s been frustrated this week, or how he proposed to his wife. Oh and I just can’t resist giving another one here—Maya Angelou. I would ask her just to start talking.

CPYU: According to a recent study by the National Endowment of the Arts, very few young people are reading. Do you have any ideas on how to get young people to read?

AS: I watched the Disney Channel today, for the first time since I was probably twelve. With one eye on the screen and the other on the mesmerized kids on my lap, all I could think was, “Wow, we’re up against a lot.” Reading was once considered an entertaining and enjoyable medium, whereas nowadays, it seems that its considerations are scholastic at best, and a boring waste of time at worst. A slow afternoon perusing pages in front of the fireplace has been traded-in for the fast-paced immediacies of Xbox and MySpace. One embraces a journey, while the other expects a gratifying jump into a finale.

So might we as leaders, parents, or educators do? First off, I think we must accept the reality that we’re fighting a world of instant gratification that will beat us if we take the traditional path. Contemporary culture “does not have the time” that reading a book requires—they want the start, climax and finish in one sitting. And when that sitting is over, or becomes stale, they’ll find the next edition. That said, I think we’ve got to be open to the reality that, a) some will never join us and b) some just need a creative bridge to get there. Whereas one kid might light up at Keating and Tolstoy, ten others could take every effort to engage with a comic book. Today’s youth are more apt, or attracted, toward activities allowing them to lead the story, whereas books require the ink and margins to hold these reigns. And for this time of our generation, at least, blogs and audio books may have to allow themselves into our paradigms of “reading.” I think such doing would not only value the playing ground of our audience, but it would also, at some point I suppose, bridge them into longings for further awakening—and maybe less instant and ecstatic ones.

I mine as well throw this in, but I personally don’t own a television. Such an option seems ludicrous for the average American family (click here for a heyday of TV stats), but maybe we could take smaller steps, like “unplugging screens” during mealtimes, or limiting hours watched per day? Like it, or not, there will be an element of discipline, if we expect anything to change. Increasing one statistic requires the decrease of another. I’ll say this and then be done, but as with my story, people change because their souls have been awakened. To transform this generation, we must first learn to see eye-to-eye with their stories, studying their ways and grasping their realities. And then, as we slowly grow to know them, and they slowly grow to trust us, invitations into journeys of the written word will undoubtedly awaken.

Past Reader Interviews
Paul Robertson, CPYU Associate Staff